What Is Your Child Actually Learning in Martial Arts?

What does your child actually learn in a martial arts class?

Punches, kicks, stances, forms, stretching, and sparring. Those are the obvious answers. These are the things you can see when you walk in and watch a class. You see a student learning a new movement, practicing a form, working with a partner or trying something they have never done before. But I think there is something much bigger happening underneath all of that. In fact, some of the most important things a child learns in martial arts have very little to do with martial arts technique at all.

I think about this often when I watch our younger students in class. A four-year-old trying to remember which foot goes forward. A six-year-old working up the courage to demonstrate something in front of the class. A ten-year-old getting frustrated because they just can't seem to figure out a movement. A teenager stepping in to help a younger student who is struggling. On the surface, they are all doing martial arts. But beneath that, they are learning how to step into real life skills.

Think about how many things in life require us to take that first step. Walking into a new school, making a new friend, asking a question, trying out for a team, standing up for yourself, speaking in front of a group, applying for a job, starting something you have never done before, leading a team, taking responsibility or trying again after you failed. None of those things come with a guarantee that they are going to go well. That is exactly why the first step can be so difficult. We don't know what is going to happen, so sometimes we don't take it.

This is one of the reasons I love martial arts. Students get to practice taking that first step over and over again in an environment where the stakes are relatively small. We show them something they don't know how to do and then ask them to try it. They watch. They try. It doesn't look right. They try again. They get corrected. They try again. Maybe they get it. Maybe they don't. Either way, they have experienced something. They have learned something. They have taken the first step into something they didn't already know how to do.

That might not seem like a big deal, but I think it is incredibly important. We often talk about confidence as though it is something you either have or you don't. I don't see it that way. I think confidence is built through experience, and experience requires action. A child who learns that they can try something difficult, make a mistake, receive feedback and try again is learning far more than how to perform that particular movement. They are learning something about themselves. They are learning, "I can do hard things." And when they experience that enough times, they start carrying that belief with them.

This is also why I think the lessons we focus on evolve as our students get older. With our younger students, we are building the foundation. We are teaching them how to listen, how to follow instructions, how to try something new, how to make mistakes, how to keep going when something is hard, how to work with other people and how to be part of a community. They are learning to control their bodies, but they are also learning to control their reactions. They are learning that they don't have to be perfect to participate. They are learning that someone else's success doesn't take anything away from their own. These are foundational skills, and they are skills that they will take with them into every other environment they enter.

As they get older, those foundations give us something to build on. Our teenage students are capable of taking on more responsibility, so we can start putting more emphasis on mindset and leadership. They might help a younger student learn a movement, lead part of a class, speak in front of their peers, take on a challenge without an instructor standing right beside them or start thinking about what it means to be someone that another person can look up to. The martial arts becomes less about simply learning what to do and more about understanding why we do it and how we can use what we are learning to help other people. They develop purpose.

I think we sometimes have a strange idea of what leadership looks like. We picture someone standing at the front of a room giving instructions. Someone who looks confident, has all the answers and naturally takes charge. But I don't think leadership starts there. I think leadership starts much smaller. It starts with taking responsibility for yourself. It starts with learning to listen and recognizing when someone else needs help. It starts with having the courage to step forward and doing the right thing when nobody is telling you to do it. Leadership comes in many shapes and sizes. There is quiet leadership and loud leadership. There is leadership that is in front of a crowd and leadership that happens behind closed doors.

That is something I really want our teenage students to experience. Not just becoming better martial artists, but becoming young people who are more willing and able to step into bigger things. Because life is going to ask them to do that. They are going to have to make decisions without knowing exactly what the outcome will be. They are going to have to speak up when it would be easier to stay quiet and bite their tongues when they feel like reacting. They are going to have to meet new people, try new things, handle failure, take responsibility and eventually lead in their own way. We can't prepare them for every situation they will face, but we can give them opportunities to practice stepping into situations that are uncomfortable and learning that they are capable of handling them.

I still train and compete in martial arts, and I can tell you that some of the most valuable things I have learned through it have nothing to do with whether I can throw a better kick today than I could ten years ago. Martial arts has taught me that I can do difficult things. It has taught me that I can be uncomfortable and keep going. It has taught me that failure doesn't have to be the end of something and that I can walk into a situation where I don't know exactly what is going to happen and still take the first step.

Those lessons have followed me far beyond the dojo. I see them in the way I approach my business, the way I build relationships, the way I speak in front of groups and the way I continue to take on things that make me uncomfortable. I have had plenty of moments where I didn't feel confident. I still do. The difference is that I have years of experience reminding me that I can step into something, learn from the experience and figure out what comes next.

That is what I want most for our students.

Not for them to always be confident. Not for them to never be afraid. Not for them to always know the right answer.

I want them to know that they can take a step.

When they don't know how to do something, try.

When they make a mistake, learn.

When they are nervous, step forward.

When someone needs help, step in.

When something gets hard, don't immediately assume that hard means impossible.

Because eventually, the martial arts class ends. They grow up. They move into post-secondary, careers, relationships, parenthood and all of the other things that life brings with it. The challenges they face won't always look like a martial arts class. Kicks and punches wont help them in those everyday challenges. They won't always know what the next move is. They won't always feel confident.

But hopefully, through all those small experiences, they have learned something important about themselves.

They have learned how to take the first step.

And sometimes, that first step is all you need to start becoming the person you are capable of becoming.

The martial arts are simply where we get to practice it.

Written by: Kyle Craik