Trusting yourself is one of the most powerful lessons you can learn, and there’s been no better teacher for me than my experience of stepping into the ring in martial arts competition. The journey is filled with risks—risking injury, failure, and the agony of defeat. But it’s also where you discover what’s on the other side of fear. The lessons learned through these experiences shape not only your abilities as a martial artist but also your confidence and trust in yourself in every aspect of life.
Standing on the sideline, you are waiting for your name to be called. The thoughts inside your head are anything but incentivizing. You are automatically whipped into an internal argument. You consciously battle the thoughts that taunt you; you didn’t practice enough, don’t forget what we worked on, you’re not good enough to beat these guys… It’s the fight before the fight. As you battle those thoughts, doubts, and fears, you are left with a choice – Trust in the work, or trust the voices. Martial arts competition is not just about physical prowess; it’s about mental fortitude and emotional resilience. Every time you step into the ring, you’re putting yourself on the line. You’re exposing yourself to the possibility of failure, injury, and disappointment. But it’s in these moments of vulnerability that you start to learn the most valuable lessons about trust. Your name is called. Deep breath, clear the mind – blank. Turn, walk forward, take the leap.
Failure is an inevitable part of competition, and it’s where some of the most profound growth happens. I have been beaten badly and I have lost by mere inches. I’ve never competed for second place. If I don’t win overall, I failed. However, over the many years of competition, I have been able to grow my mindset and learn something about that failure. When you fail, you learn that it’s never as bad as you imagined. Now, I will admit, I’ve had some REALLY painful failures in my competition and in my life. The fear of failure though, often looms larger than the reality. In our minds, we often SEE the failure before it happens. When we do this, we FEEL that failure. It’s important to note that at this point, it is 100% make belief, although it feels real. If we create that failure into reality, we have an opportunity. Once you’ve faced it, you can realize that you’re stronger and more resilient than you thought. You can understand that the way you imagined that failure to feel, to look, to be perceived, is often different than the reality that you experience. We make up stories about what other people will think, how everything will fall apart because of it. In my experience, and I imagine yours too, it rarely ends as poorly as we thought, which is a powerful insight to hold.
Failure also highlights where you can improve. Each mistake, each misstep, becomes a guidepost for what you need to work on next. You have this incredible opportunity for growth with every loss. You can dissect your performance and understand your weak points better – back to the drawing board! It’s through failure that you identify weaknesses, refine your techniques, and build a stronger foundation for future success. That area where you slipped and lost balance needs to be drilled again and again to become more consistent. That exchange that you were just a little slower than your opponent, you get to go back and drill that speed until you know without a doubt in your mind that it is faster. This is your opportunity for ownership.
Moreover, failure reveals the impact of your support system. When you fall, who’s there to help you back up? Your coaches, teammates, friends, and family all play a crucial role in your journey. They remind you that you’re not alone, that you have people who believe in you even when you struggle to believe in yourself. In martial arts, we communicate our weaknesses and help each other by exposing them, working them, and improving them.
When I first became an instructor with a class of my own, I remember stepping into competition. I felt this enormous amount of pressure like never before. That battle started in my head as soon as my eyes opened that morning. You better not lose in front of your students, you need to prove you’re their leader, everyone is counting on you, if you fail your students won’t have faith in you… These thoughts were winning. They built stronger and stronger the closer I got to competing. I couldn’t fight them off. I was anxious, my forehead began to have a tingly sensation, my heart rate would not slow, and all I could think about was failing. I stepped in the ring and fought. I lost. I felt immediate fear. Everything I was thinking was about to come true. My students would leave and go to other schools. People would give me those sympathetic looks and feel badly for me. I would never win again.. Dramatic, I know. But, those thoughts, like mentioned before, are always worse than reality. When I walked off and took my gear off, I was greeted with… Smiles?
Good Job Sifu Kyle!
Great Fight Sifu! So Close!
Wow, what a performance Sifu Kyle!
They didn’t see me as a failure. They recognized me as one of them. They recognized how difficult that fight was, how close I came to winning, and what it took for me to go up and compete. The next competition, I went in feeling light, less pressure. I worked on specific things, but more importantly, I just went in for the enjoyment of the competition. I performed much better!
Success in martial arts competition teaches you to trust in the work you’ve put in as well. Every drop of sweat, every hour of training, every moment of discipline pays off when you achieve victory. Success reinforces the value of hard work and dedication, showing you that effort and consistency are the keys to reaching your goals. Success also expands your understanding of what you’re truly capable of. Overcoming those doubts and fears is a powerful personal experience. It’s one thing to believe you can win; it’s another to actually do it. Each victory builds confidence and strengthens your trust in your abilities. You begin to realize that the limits you once thought existed are just illusions, and you’re capable of far more than you ever imagined.
Winning (and losing as highlighted above) also builds trust in taking risks. When you succeed after putting yourself on the line, it reinforces the idea that stepping out of your comfort zone is valuable no matter the outcome. This newfound confidence encourages you to take more risks, to challenge yourself more often, and to Propel growth.
As you can tell, there is power in both winning and losing. This highlights the importance of TRYING! Trusting yourself doesn’t happen overnight though—it takes practice. Each time you step into the ring, you’re practicing trust. You’re learning to listen to your instincts, to believe in your training, and to rely on the strength of your mind and body. Over time, this practice of taking risks builds a deep-seated trust in yourself that extends far beyond martial arts.
The lessons I learned through martial arts competition aren’t confined to the dojo or the ring. They apply to every area of life. When you trust yourself, you’re more willing to take on challenges in your career, relationships, and personal goals. You understand that failure is part of the process, that success is a result of hard work, and that taking risks leads to growth. I hope you can recognize those internal battles when faced with challenge. Call out the B.S and recognize the make belief scenarios we tend to create. Understand that no matter what the outcome, there are lessons to learn and life will continue to move forwards, with new strengths and knowledge. You also learn the importance of persistence. In competition, just as in life, it’s not about never failing—it’s about getting back up every time you do. It’s about trusting that you have the strength to overcome obstacles, the resilience to keep going, and the support to help you along the way.
Ultimately, trusting yourself is about building a relationship with yourself through experience. It’s about learning from both your successes and your failures, and recognizing that each experience brings you closer to understanding your true potential. It’s about stepping into the unknown, knowing that you have the ability to face whatever comes your way.
So, the next time you find yourself facing a challenge—whether it’s in the ring or in life—remember the lessons you’ve learned through the risks you've taken. Trust yourself, take the risk, and know that on the other side of fear is growth, strength, and the realization that you are capable of more than you ever thought possible.
Written by: Kyle Craik
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