The Martial Arts Mirror: Going Inward

We often think that growth comes from the external; new skills, new achievements, new challenges. Passed on from generations before you. While it’s true that I would not be who I am today if it was not for the incredible mentors that taught me lessons throughout my life, some of the most profound transformations I’ve experienced have come from going deeper within myself.

Inward.

The space of stillness, reflection, discomfort, and self-awareness is where the real work happens. And for me, martial arts has been an instrumental part of unlocking that internal world.

It’s obvious to see martial arts as a way to build physical strength, discipline, or self-defence. You need to develop your body and mind to be able to face combat, flip a switch, and become a controlled savage. And while all of that is true, there’s so much more beneath that tough exterior. It’s not as sexy as the strong body and masculine presence, but arguably, far more impactful. The dojo is a mirror. Every time you train, you come face to face with yourself.

You become faced with your reactions under pressure. Like a sort of out of body experience, you see how you respond to failure. You learn what you’re avoiding, what you’re trying to prove, and what you're capable of when it feels like you have nothing left. Whether in training or competition, you are consistently pushed to see yourself in new ways, new conditions. Yes, you learn to train harder, to take more rest, and to practice your skills more consistently to level up and put yourself in a better chance to grow. That’s not just physical conditioning though. That’s inner work.

I have lost fights that I knew with certainty I was going to win, and I have won fights that I did not believe was possible for me. Every experience taught me something different about myself. Sure, I went back to the drawing board, watched the videos, analyzed and went back to practice with strategies. What’s more though, I was forced to reflect on what that meant about me as an athlete, and as a person. It’s a choice to reflect on yourself. You must make the decision that you want to grow on a deeper level in order to avoid future failures, repeat successes and continue to step into new challenges with confidence. It takes practice to stop and ask yourself why did I react that way? What held me back here? How can I change the way I approach this next time or how can I duplicate this? There have been times I’ve left training frustrated and defeated, rarely because I was physically exhausted, but rather because I was emotionally challenged. Because I realized I was holding onto something that held me back; fear, anger, and ego. Those things had nothing to do with my physical ability, but everything to do with my result. It had nothing to do with the opponent and everything to do with me. That is a lesson that doesn’t just exist in the dojo and competition. It follows you into every area of your life.

Martial arts being my first love in life taught me to begin to see myself more clearly. What I was about to realize though; relationships are the high-definition, up-close version. Our interactions with others, whether in friendships, partnerships, or family are constantly revealing parts of ourselves. Some of which we might not be ready to see.

Think about someone in your life that you struggle with: Why do certain people trigger you? Why do you feel that visceral reaction to them? Why do you become so reactive and ‘lose your mind’ with that person, but can navigate better with others?

You might not like this part; It’s not them, it’s you. These aren’t just reactions, they’re patterns. Often rooted in past wounds, insecurities, or unmet needs. And we can’t break those patterns until we’re aware of them. Don’t get me wrong, some people are assholes. You are not always treated fairly and some people deserve to be bumped out of the inner circle. Boundaries are real. But, we cannot simply be the victim in every situation that feels wrong. We need to take responsibility for how we are showing up also, and that means stepping outside of the relationship to see yourself through a new lens.

Martial arts helped me learn the skill of slowing down and observing myself; my breath, my language, and my reactions under stress. I began to learn that even when I was faced with an opponent that I didn’t like, one that trash talked me, fought dirty, or anything like that, I was in control. I learned to understand why I got more nervous for some competitions and not others. I learned why I was more hesitant or reactive against certain opponents, or more loose and confident. Spoiler alert; it wasn’t them, it was me! That same awareness translates directly into how I now handle conversations, conflict, and connection. I’ve learned to pause. To listen deeper and to recognize when I’m reacting from fear instead of responding from truth. Reframing the story my ego and fear wants to tell me to keep me the primitive fighter I have trained to be, in martial arts and in life.

In relationships, that internal awareness is everything. It helps you take responsibility without shame. It helps you communicate without blame. And it helps you build trust, not just with others, but with yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from perfect. I still make mistakes in my relationships. I still allow fear and ego to interrupt things. But, the martial arts mindset has stuck with me. I will always come back to taking accountability for looking myself in the mirror. Taking that step back outside of the chaos to understand myself and my reactions in order to grow. This is our responsibility in every relationship we are privileged enough to experience in life. If the people in my life have been able to guide me inward, than the journey through entrepreneurship has certainly done so also.

The journey of entrepreneurship is filled with uncertainty, risk, and rejection. Sound familiar? It’s no doubt I was drawn to this career path after a lifelong journey with martial arts. It’s not all that different from stepping into the ring. Adaptability it key. You must do the work and believe in your preparation. And most importantly, you have to approach everything with the willingness to get to know yourself better. Everything is a lesson. Everything is opportunity.

When you’re running a business or building a brand, your mindset is your most valuable asset. If you don’t understand your triggers, your limiting beliefs, or your tendencies under pressure, those things will drive your decisions more than strategy ever will and your results will suffer. It is a lonely road, I am not going to lie. You spend most of your time reflecting and trying to understand yourself. You question why your actions don’t always match your purpose, and you need to develop the grit to take those lessons on the chin and keep moving forward with better awareness.

Martial arts gave me the courage to do that work; to question why I was doing something, where my motivation was really coming from, and what version of success actually aligned with my values. That self-awareness has helped me to lead with clarity, navigate failure with grace, pivot when it felt like time, and grow in ways that no business book could teach me. All of these things have helped build me into the person I am here today writing this.

This kind of inner awareness isn’t just for the big moments in your life though. It shows up in how you handle a tough conversation. How you speak to yourself when you make a mistake. How you respond when plans fall apart or someone cuts you off in traffic. These everyday moments are opportunities for us to practice presence and perspective.

It’s easy to react. But when you’ve built a habit of going inward and checking in with your values and emotions, you start to live with more intention. You pause before reacting. You choose alignment over ego. You soften where you once would’ve tensed up. Again, you don’t become perfect, but you give yourself the grace to grow.

And this is where life changes; not from something outside you, but from something rising within you.

We live in a world that constantly encourages us to hustle, to build, to push forward. But if we never stop to check in with who we are while we’re doing it, we risk losing ourselves along the way.

Martial arts taught me that some of the most courageous work we can do isn’t in throwing punches or performing. It’s in breaking down your walls and looking inward. The real courage is in being honest about what we feel, what we fear, and what we truly need to do to grow.

Whether you’re training, navigating a relationship, launching a business, or just trying to show up as your best self, don’t forget to pause, reflect, and listen to what’s happening inside of you.

Because everything you’re searching for externally; clarity, confidence, connection, begins within.

Written by: Kyle Craik