Achieving a long-focused goal often comes with a mix of emotions—pride, satisfaction, and sometimes, a surprising sense of emptiness. For many, this feeling of "now what?" can be disconcerting. This was the case for me when I finally achieved my black belt in martial arts after 13 years of dedicated practice. What I thought would be a triumphant moment left me questioning what would come next.
I’ve heard competing theories about goals as I have engaged with colleagues in the field of coaching, social work, psychology, and other related fields to personal improvement. There are some who believe that we NEED goals in order to succeed. It’s the idea that we must have a target to aim for in order to keep us focused and motivated. How can we know which way to go unless we have a compass, like a goal, to guide us? The competing argument is that goals have the ability to create an unnecessary pressure on our success. By putting the pressure of a goal on yourself, you tamper with your flow and freedom of discovery. It is an interesting argument, and I can think myself about times that I have placed too much pressure on myself for a goal that I created which ultimately distracted me while on the road to achieving it. When we truly examine it, a goal is a fascinating concept. It is completely made up. A lot of the time we pull it from thin air as a shiny object that looks nice to possess one day. As we work toward possessing that shiny object, we are faced with excitement, motivation, self-doubt, discouragement, and everything in between. We are challenged to either keep working towards it, or to give up and find something new to work towards. But what does that mean about you as a person? There is a stigma attached to our goals about quitting. Are you a quitter?! Is there value to stepping away from a goal? Our priorities change over time and with that our goals can as well. But, proving to yourself that you can push through life’s struggles and accomplish great things also holds merit.
Now, we can see why goals are so fascinating and not so cut and dry.
When I started martial arts, I quickly found a desire to achieve something great; I wanted to be a black belt. I looked up to my instructor and became fixated on working towards my very own shiny object. I was motivated. I had my compass. The system was great, I had a mini goals to work towards along the way; Yellow belt, Orange belt, Green belt, Blue belt, Brown belt, and then I was finally working towards the ultimate goal of the Black belt. At the age of 18, I had finally achieved my BIG goal. In my mind, I had imagined what this moment would be like. I illustrated pictures of my eyes swelling up, tears running down my face, overwhelming joy and relief coming over my body. That wasn’t my reality on the day I achieved my black belt though. I was happy, but it felt extremely underwhelming. I didn’t understand. I had worked SO hard for this. Why was it feeling so lackluster in the big moment? Where was my reward? Where was the triumph?
Upon reflection, I have realized that the journey towards my black belt was far more meaningful than the black belt itself. It wasn't just about the status or the physical training and techniques learned; it was about the deeper purpose behind my pursuit. I had been working towards something greater than a black belt; I had been striving towards becoming something that represented leadership, mentorship, personal greatness, and betterment. I was on a journey of personal discovery.
This purpose was truly what kept me going when the goal seemed distant and the challenges insurmountable. It was a beacon that guided me through moments of doubt and fatigue. And when I finally achieved my black belt, it was this purpose that I could continue to strive for, providing me with direction and motivation to continue growing and evolving. My goals changed a lot along the way. At times, I was focused on the next belt, and other times on perfecting a new challenging technique. Some months, I was only focused on winning fights, and other times on creating a new routine to perform. The goals kept me excited on the path, but they were never an end point. In fact, what I learned from this is that there is no end point.
The difference between goals and purpose is profound. Goals are specific achievements that we strive for, while purpose is the underlying reason behind our actions. Goals can be achieved, but purpose is a lifelong journey. It is what gives meaning to our efforts and sustains us through the highs and lows of life. My purpose continues today and has kept me teaching, training, and waking up in the morning. So, goals or purpose? I believe they both have their place in our success. I encourage you to explore both with openness, intuition, and flexibility.
In my own journey, I've found that purpose is far more powerful than goals. It is what keeps me going, even when the path ahead is unclear. It is the inspiration and motivation that drives me to be the best version of myself, not just for me, but for those around me.
So, if you ever find yourself feeling lost or unfulfilled towards or after achieving a goal, remember that the true power lies in your purpose. It is what will guide you towards your next challenge and lead you towards a life of meaning and fulfillment.
Written by: Kyle Craik
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