What does it mean to truly win? Is it the trophy in your hand, the applause from the crowd, or the praise from the judges? Or is it something deeper, something internal that only you can measure?
Integrity is defined as "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness." It's a word that often gets thrown around, but when truly understood and applied, it becomes a guiding principle in life. It’s about being honest, not just with others but with yourself.
I remember a year when I felt unstoppable. I hadn’t lost a single competition, and my confidence was soaring. Walking into one particular competition, I felt certain that I was going to win before I even set foot through the competition doors. I had been doing really well that year. Things seemed to be clicking and to be completely honest, I didn’t feel like I needed to train as much. The skills seemed to be there. I could simply show up, perform my best and I knew that would be enough to win. But something unexpected happened. The judges called my name. My attention was already on the ring. I stepped forward up and stood tall, ready for my performance. Walking confidently towards the judges, I introduced myself like I had done hundreds of times before. Closing my eyes to visualize the pending victory, I was ready to perform.
I completely blanked.
Within the first five movements, my mind went dark. In that moment, I improvised, making up the entire routine on the spot. Luckily, I had enough experience to get myself through a performance without giving much away to the judges who did not know my routine personally. Finishing with a bow, I walked away from the ring baffled wondering what the heck just happened. How did I mess this up? I had done this so many times before. I was disappointed and confused. Looking back now, it’s obvious to me that I simply was not prepared. Even though I felt confident, I had not taken the necessary preparations. I lacked discipline and consistency.
To my surprise, I won first place. They placed that gold medal around my neck and instead of feeling elated, I felt like a failure. Why? Because I knew I hadn’t prepared. I was too confident, too sure of myself, and it cost me. It wasn't an honest victory. I knew in my heart that I hadn’t earned it. I knew the other competitors had outworked me. I knew I could have done better and that I won based on a false performance. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the skills I was able to demonstrate and the difficulty it took to improvise on the spot. But being someone who strived for excellence, this was not an acceptable victory.
To the judges and everyone watching, it might have looked like I did everything right. But deep down, I knew I didn’t deserve that win. this taught me an important lesson: When we learn to be honest with ourselves, we build personal integrity. To accept that I was the best that day would feel morally wrong to me - not because I didn’t “perform” well, but because it did not feel true to me.
On the contrary, there have been times when I’ve lost, despite preparing harder than ever before. There have been many times when I finished a performance and knew I gave it absolutely everything I had, walking away feeling subjugated by the judges. Those losses, while feeling frustrating, are a lot easier to accept because I know I gave it my all, an honest effort. I went in, performed my best, and prepared my best. Those losses feel a hell of a lot better than the wins I didn’t feel I deserved on any given day. We talk a lot in society about how to win with humility and how to accept defeat, pick ourselves up, and grow stronger. We don’t talk about the fact that winning can feel like losing when integrity is lost. We need to learn to earn our victories in life. Sometimes things go our way, and sometimes they don’t. We have to accept those moments that are not in our control. However, we are in control of out integrity no matter the situation.
This experience, and others like it, have helped me redefine what victory and success truly look like. It’s not about the big trophy or the accolades; it’s about the internal feeling of knowing you’ve done your best, trained your hardest, left no stone unturned. When you operate with integrity, you measure success not by external validation but by your own honest evaluation of your efforts, win, lose, or draw.
How about you?
Have you ever succeeded but felt it wasn’t a true victory? Have you ever won something but knew in your heart you didn’t deserve it? I’d love to hear your story. Let’s redefine success together by embracing integrity and being honest with ourselves. After all, the true measure of success lies within.
Written by: Kyle Craik
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